On Being Liked & More!
Photo by Courtney Lindberg Photography.
Most of us want to be liked.
It's natural. It's normal.
And…when left unchecked, it can suffocate our creative voice, dilute our message, and sabotage our business success.
As coaches, the desire to be liked can shape everything:
The way we write our emails
The way we speak on calls or in trainings
The kinds of programs we offer
Even what we don't say in a coaching session… for fear of upsetting someone
When the need to be liked is in charge—especially when we're unaware of it—it can mute our clarity, our creativity, and our truth.
It's not wrong.
It's just human.
And it's something we can begin to see more clearly… and gently loosen our grip around.
In the below 20-minute audio clip (an excerpt from my 12 Days of Coaching program), I speak to my own journey with this pattern.
For many years, I wanted to be liked so desperately.
It shaped how I coached, what I wrote, what I said, and didn't say.
At times, it felt like there was a part of me watching and judging me as I taught or led a session.
Sound familiar?
That inner monitor is often just a protection pattern.
A younger part of us trying to keep the peace… because somewhere along the way, we learned that upset = unsafe.
But here's the thing:
Your job as a coach is not to make yourself palatable for everyone.
Your job is to show up in your loving. In your truth.
That's what creates real connection. That's what draws people in.
Your authenticity is magnetic.
Not performative, polished-you.
You. In your loving. In your humanity. In your wholeness.
In this excerpt, I talk about:
How the need to be liked quietly shapes our coaching, writing, and decision-making
The internal “monitor” that causes us to perform rather than be present
How dysregulation shows up in the body (and what to look for)
Why insight often doesn't arrive when we're trying to “figure it out”
The power of being with discomfort—not to fix it, but to meet it with love
Why your nervous system—not your willpower—is the key to deeper peace and clarity
A reframe on “bad” feelings like shame, overwhelm, envy, or anxiety—and how they can become pathways to healing
This isn't about fixing.
It's about seeing.
And offering yourself a little more room to be.
Click Here To Listen To: On Being Liked & More!
[NOTE: The audio download is a Google Drive file. If you want to listen on an iPhone, you will need to download the Google Drive app.]
As you move through your week, here's something you might try:
Notice if there's a moment where your system tightens…
when you want to please, fix, or get it “right.”
And simply ask, “Who am I trying to be right now? And what's the truth underneath that?”
Not to change anything.
Just to notice.
That noticing is where freedom begins.
With loving,
Amber
