Right-Sizing Your Business: A Tale of Three Clients
Photo by Getty Images via Unsplash
For many of us, our business isn't right-sized with our lives.
We either let it consume us—devoting 80-90% of our thinking and actions to it. Or we let it drift out to sea, barely visible from the shore—giving it maybe 10% of our attention.
Neither of these is bad. Sometimes it's important to devote a large chunk of time and energy to the business. And sometimes it's important not to.
This is why we want our business to be an extension of our wisdom—our connection to the intelligence of life.That intelligence that lets us know when we're hungry…getting sick… needing social connection. Its motives are pure.
The mind, however, not so much. It can get in the way of us hearing that pure directive.
For over a decade, I fell into the camp of overworking and overthinking about my business. If there were a pie chart, I'd say 80% of my time, attention, and energy (mental, emotional, physical) were consistently going to my business.
This was because I was living in a belief structure that said with enough money, power, status, and reputation, I would finally feel free and safe.These beliefs weren't conscious. I wasn't aware they were running... and they were. I just thought that improvement—more money, bigger audiences, client results, a thinner body—was the only way to have what I most wanted.
In that construct, all the superficial things of life mattered—in some ways more than interpersonal relationships.
FYI: This wasn't fun to see when it showed itself. Shadow work is legit! And it was necessary, because I had been living in a prison of my own making.
I didn't consciously create this illusion. My mind did, at a time when I was much younger, when safety and love felt threatened. I still remember in the fourth grade deciding I was gonna be somebody. And all those meanies were gonna regret treating me the way they did.
That idea of be somebody important had been driving my life since then. Completely out of my awareness. That is how minds work…how they try to innocently take care of us.
And living in the construct of being power-hungry and needing to be somebody in order to be okay—well, that is exhausting. Because there isn't enough of anything, ever, in that paradigm. Thus the constant desire to improve.
When life took away some of the grounding I had relied upon for stability—clients, money, reputation—it was a complete upheaval. Ultimately, with the most beautiful outcome. Moving through that experience helped me see this construct and helped me right-size my business in my life.
That looked like more room to play—to be spontaneous. To break the rules and come back into flow with Life's intelligence. I stopped believing that Monday through Friday needed to look a certain way. Meaning—punch in at 9am and punch out at 5pm. Instead, I became more comfortable aligning with the nudges provided by Life. Sometimes that meant following the inspiration to write on a Sunday, or leading an intensive over the weekend, and playing hooky on a Wednesday.
This was actually the freedom I had been seeking. The freedom to care less about what I wore, how I looked, how I came across, the size of my body, the amount of money in my bank account, the number of clients or followers I had.Trying to manage all of those things to be okay wasn't fun. And it certainly wasn't free.
I guest taught in-person recently, and in the past my experience was usually rushed. I'd feel crunched for time in the morning because I needed to respond to emails and take care of my clients so they got "value" and saw me as a good leader. I needed my outfit, hair, and makeup to look a certain way—because that's what I unconsciously believed kept me safe. Pressure and appearance concerns outweighed the beauty and abundance of the present moment.
This teaching session, however, my experience was so different. I didn't need to respond to any emails in the morning because I didn't need to be needed. I didn't care about my outfit or hair. I mean, I took a shower and brushed my teeth, but I wasn't trying to be perfect in some way. I let everything be enough as it was. What was amazing was that I was able to eat breakfast and spend a half hour enjoying the meal while watching the sunshine. I arrived at the event five minutes early—and everything felt spacious, present... and joyful.
Imagine how that state—of openness, peace and presence—impacted the session.
This is what happens when we begin to see the inner hooks that have been unconsciously driving us. We get to have compassion for ourselves as we acknowledge their role and move beyond the need for them.
This is the real work I do with my clients. I thought it would be helpful to share some examples of what happens when they see the unconscious programming, align with Life's intelligence, and right-size their business.
Client Onewas in the camp of devoting 80% of their energy to their business—and they were feeling the burn out from that choice. In our time together, as we slowed down to discover and explore, they let go of patterns of self-reliance and needing their business to perform a certain way for them to be okay. Through this process, they could hear the invitation to enjoy their life more. Courageously, they leaned into that. They started giving themselves more rest—and met the fears that everything would fall apart if they did. They went on trips and vacations. They connected more with family and friends. And guess what? Their business grew. They made more than they ever had. And this is because they listened and followed their guidance and right-sized their business on the inside.
Client Twowas in the camp of devoting a large chunk of time to their work. In fact, they had built a strong identity around of being a successful coach, so when a desire to work less showed up, they felt uncertain and unsteady. Who would I be without this? And, their wisdom was indicating that it was time to find out. They were entering a new season of life and wanted to focus more of their attention on health and family. As they leaned in, they met the fear of "who would I be without this" again and again. And through doing that, they found greater confidence and comfort in trusting themselves. They saw more clearly where safety truly comes from and more easily right-sized their business to honor who and where they are now. This led to greater connection, fulfillment, play, and presence.
Client Three was in the camp of devoting 80% of their thinking, and maybe 20% of their action toward their business. This mental energy is just as impactful as the physical. They felt like they should be further along, given how much they “work” on their business. Do you see the distinction? The mind believed they were working all the time—which, in a sense, is partly true. It just wasn't being translated to physical action. That felt way too scary to their system. And that is the pattern we turned toward. Instead of continuing to use the inaction against themselves (I know what to do, but I'm not doing it.), they met it with compassion—likely for the first time in their adult life. Turning away from the scary tasks was the health of their system. And what they found as they got curious was a deep fear of shining, failing, and disappointing others/themselves. As they continued to show up for themselves in new ways—and meet their direct experience when they used to distract themselves—they were more able to follow through on their actions. And that created a new pathway in their mind. They were becoming someone new with each passing day. Or, better stated, they were becoming more of who they really are—because they no longer needed the turn-away pattern to feel safe. And, of course, Life reflected this change with more clients. External reality is a mirror after all!
These are examples of what's available when we slow down, listen to our wisdom, and right-size our work.
If you're reading this and recognizing yourself—whether you're consumed by your business or barely tending to it—know that there's nothing wrong with you. These patterns formed for a reason. They're innocent.
And if you're feeling the pull to explore these more deeply but aren't sure how to begin, I'm here. Sometimes it takes a conversation to help you see what's been running beneath the surface.
If that feels true for you, send me an email at hello@amberkrzys.com and tell me more. We'll go from there.
With love,
Amber
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