Photo by Jaclyn Chessen.
About this time last year, I shared a newsletter titled "Filling This School Might Kill Me." It was about how uncomfortable it can feel when self-concept, and the ways we've known ourselves to be safe, start to dissolve. Feelings of failure were overriding my system, and the identity of a successful coach felt under threat. The article became the most responded-to piece I've ever written.
This year, I'm filling the school again. And it feels completely different.
Playful. Restorative. Open.
What's changed is that I've come to live into something more fully: enrollment is important, not personal.
I'm not talking about taking things personally inside conversations with prospects, though that can be part of it. I'm talking about something much bigger. Something I understood intellectually, but didn't have the lived experience to back up—which is why I continued to suffer…until now.
Enrollment Mode
My first workshop was held in 2009 in my garage, with eight participants—and I was hooked. I was sure every workshop would be like that. It wasn't. For a while, many had only one or two people signed up.
So my mind got to work fixing the problem. I learned new strategies and skills, and soon I was selling out groups and events consistently. But each enrollment cycle came with an all-consuming pressure—as if I couldn't relax until the program sold out.
When I turned attention toward filling a group, it felt like I entered a new paradigm—one full of constant noise and busyness: Who can I get? Who would benefit? How do I get more people to know about this? It's all up to me, so I have to keep pushing.
Rewriting the sales page. Reviewing the math on how many spots were left. Adding to a list of names to invite. Feeling the self-judgment when someone said no. The questioning of whether I was doing enough.
Anxiety ran rampant in my system—even though I didn't recognize it as such. Innocently, the group had begun to feel like who I was. My worth, safety, reputation, likability—all of it on the line with every passing day.
What's Different This Year
This year, when it was time to turn toward the next cohort for The School, the mind headed straight down the well-worn path and moved me into enrollment mode. Very quickly, the days started to feel like an emotional roller coaster.
The difference this time is that I felt the tightness and the gripping right away. I received the body information and met what was present.
As I stayed with it, the whole pattern became visible: enrollment mode activated to try to provide a sense of safety and control. And everything inside it was organized around protecting the separate sense of self.
The moment the school became “mine”—my school—it needed protection and defense. The "me" makes everything personal. And this is why we suffer.
A Subtle Distinction
This can sound simple or confusing, which is exactly why it's worth slowing down here. The intellect so easily thinks it understands. But understanding in the mind is radically different from understanding in lived experience.
In truth, the personal self doesn't really exist. (Even neuroscience is pointing in this direction. See these studies on meditation, mindfulness, and the dissolving sense of self.) The mind may object and try to figure that out—but this terrain isn't for the mind. It's a different kind of exploration.
Yes, there is thinking, feeling, a body, even personality. And there is something before each of these. Something that stays the same. That isn't temporary. That is impersonal. And that is what everything is made of.
If the business doesn't belong to you, there's no way to get it right or wrong. There's no measurement of your worth in the results. There's no "me" to protect.
If the business belongs to Life, your job is to listen and follow inspiration. Not because you have to, or you won't be okay—but because you're already okay, and you get to share the creativity pouring through you.
Caring And Not Caring
It's hard to put into words what I'm living this year. It's as if I care and don't care at the same time. I feel a part of the whole, rather than an isolated fraction trying to feel whole—gripping, fighting, insecure, living in scarcity.
I see how much the world needs this work of waking up to our impersonal nature, and I'm honored to share it. But the message isn't about "me." I'm one thread in a beautiful tapestry of awakening. My job is to stay open, be a beacon, and shine a light on what's possible.
There are no rules for how that unfolds. Personal invitations, conversations, webinars, writing, books, podcasts, talks, referrals—and ways not yet seen.
Work has gotten lighter, freer, and more fun.
For Your Exploration
Does your business feel personal? Like it belongs to you?
If so, notice the direct experience that comes with that. The defense of the mind—even when entertaining the question. The tightness in the body. The sense that everything depends on you. That's a lot of pressure.
Now imagine the business belongs to Life. Not to you—to Life. Let that land, not as an idea, but in the body. What happens to the tightness? To the sense that everything depends on you? Notice if something softens, even slightly. That softening isn't something you did. It's a glimpse of what's already here.
This is what I'm living. The school is important, not personal. The business is important, not personal.
The path to this freedom often runs right through personal suffering. When we slow down with what feels personal—at the level of direct experience, not the mind—we are often brought to our impersonal nature. Where infinite inspiration, love, and resourcing exist.
Where This Is Lived
Moving from the personal to the impersonal isn't an idea we study inside The School for Humaning Well. It's what we live into, together, over six months—in the body, in relationships, in work, and in the moments that feel most personal. And from there, life becomes so much lighter.
The second cohort begins in January 2027. Only 7 spots remain, and this will likely be the last time I lead it in Los Angeles.
Today is the last day to enroll and receive the Pre-School Gathering Sessions, so your experience begins before the January class:
One 60-minute private session with me (to use any time before May 2027)
Two group calls with your fellow students: November 11 at 1:00pm PT and December 9 at 10:00am PT
If you'd like to talk it through first, simply email me at hello@amberkrzys.com. And if something in you already knows, you can enroll here.
With loving,
Amber
P.S. If enrollment has ever felt personal for you, that isn't a problem to fix. It may be the doorway. The Pre-School Gathering Sessions are available through today. Learn more here.
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