The Value of "Not Yet"
I’m working with a client who is starting graduate school after taking some time off to follow her heart passion in the Peace Corps. Yeah, she’s kinda bad ass!
It’s been a while since she’s been a student, so showing up for class has been somewhat challenging. She’s bucking up against the idea that she should already know the material—that she should be “perfect” at it before learning it!
This is what Carol Dweck, author of the fantastic book, Mindset, calls a fixed mindset. The idea that our learning is fixed and we can’t grow.
I have experience with this, as do most of us. I remember when I was dancing professionally, I would regularly take dance class. {Note: Class = place for learning.} Yet, if I had difficulty doing the choreography, I shut down and judged myself as a failure. I would leave and not go back to that class because it was too painful.
This choice blocked my ability to grow. I mean, how could I get better if I wasn’t willing to try? If I wasn’t willing to be messy?
What if instead of assuming I was a failure, I chose “Not Yet” as the response? I don’t have the choreography down yet. I didn’t pass the course yet. I haven’t made my $100K yet. I can learn by continuing to study.
This concept of “Not Yet” opens the space for growth. It honors the process, rather than the result. And, let’s be honest, life really is all about the journey…isn’t it?
Where is a place in your life that you have difficulty being messy? Or stop yourself from learning because you think you should know it already?
Tell me in the comments.
With Fierce Loving,
Amber
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