Stop Chasing Your Goals
Photo by Valeriia Miller via Unsplash
Do you remember playing tag as a kid?
There was real joy in the chasing—at first. The rush of pursuit, the aliveness of the game.
And then, at some point, something shifted. The chasing felt like too much. Too long. Too tiring. And all you wanted was to stop—and be chased.
Now, imagine something you want in your work right now. A financial goal, growing your community, giving a talk, writing a newsletter—anything.
Do you have it in mind?
Great. Now honestly answer this: Are you chasing that goal?
If yes, how does that feel?
Does it bring you alive? Or are you starting to feel the dissonance between where you are and where you want to be? Does it feel like your efforts aren't paying off—that you're more depleted than filled up?
That's important feedback to notice. And if you're someone who tends to override, I invite you to really slow down and check in. Because there is a different way to set goals and bring them to life.
If you're interested in that, keep reading.
Where The Goal Came From
Let's begin by noticing where this goal actually came from.
Many business goals aren't born from inspiration. They're quietly set by the conditioned self—built on a foundation of lack. The mind looks "out there" and crafts a story: when you get that thing, you'll feel different. You'll feel belonging, credibility, safety, success.
So you set out on the quest, in hot pursuit of getting something "out there" to make you feel more whole—never questioning the context from which the goal was set.
Here's what's worth seeing: if the mind is trying to solve for a feeling, no achieved goal will ever bring resolution. Because feelings want to be felt. That's it. This is why, so often, reaching one goal simply reveals the next one. Chasing is a remarkably effective way to run from a feeling—without ever knowing that's what we're doing.
The entire setup of the chase rests on a premise: that what you desire is somewhere out there. That you don't already have it.
What Chasing Actually Does
Here's what I've noticed. When we're in "get" mode, that very energy can push what we want further away.
Think about dating. You've likely felt the grip of pursuit energy—neediness, desperation, the unmistakable quality of someone who needs you to say yes. It can feel destabilizing. Overwhelming. It doesn't draw you closer. It makes you want to take a step back.
Why would our goals respond any differently?
What If The Goal Is Already Here
Bear with me for a moment.
If everything is made of consciousness—thought, feeling, experience, the apparent solidity of the world itself—then desire must be too. Including the one you're holding right now.
The conditioned self is like a wave on the ocean, looking at the other waves and thinking: I'd be better if I were more like that one. Bigger. More powerful. Further along. But every wave is made of the same thing—the ocean. Each one is a full expression of that one thing. No wave is more ocean than another.
And so it is with us. And with what we want.
What if that goal isn't somewhere out there waiting to be caught? What if it's already here—not yet visible, but present? Already in motion? And what if you knew, in your heart of hearts, that if that goal is truly aligned for you, it is already on its way?
Playing A Different Game
Now here's the paradox.
When you really understand and embody that knowing—when you stop trying to get something to make you more whole and begin instead from wholeness—everything about how you play the game changes.
You're no longer pushing for a result. You're expressing. Following inspiration. Showing up because something in you wants to give, not because you need something back.
This is playing without pressure. This is playing with freedom.
And this can produce results the mind can't fully comprehend. The goal you set may arrive—or something else may appear. Something better. Or, something in a new direction—one you didn't expect.
The game becomes less about getting a result and more about enjoying the experience you're in. It shifts from getting to giving—giving to your community, your clients, the creative impulse that moved through you and asked to be shared.
Do you see it?
More importantly—do you feel it?
A Different Place To Play From
Pursuit energy will keep what you truly want just out of reach. Even if it arrives externally, the inner fulfillment you were hoping for doesn't last—and that gap is worth paying attention to.
So if you're ready for a different experience, the invitation is simple—though not always easy. Get honest about where you're coming from. Notice when the energy of "get" has taken over. When the grip is back. When the goal has quietly become a barometer of your worth.
And when you notice that—pause. Turn within. Let yourself drop into the present moment and what's already here.
Not to manufacture a feeling. Not to create ease. But to actually remember: there's nothing missing. There's nothing to prove. The wave isn't lacking anything, because the wave is made of ocean.
And so are you.
This remembering happens most naturally through an open heart. When the personal self relaxes its grip—even for a moment—there's spaciousness. There's receptivity. There's the quiet knowing that you don't have to chase anything. That what's truly yours can find its way to you.
That opening of the heart—and what becomes possible from it—is exactly what The Gift of the Open Heart: A Weekend of Receiving is about.
If something in you is ready to stop chasing and start receiving, I'd love for you to join me here.
Early bird registration ends on June 15th—and spots are half full.
With loving,
Amber
