The Sweet Spot of “Yes”
Photo by Getty Images via Unsplash
In your work right now, as a coach or practitioner, where would you place yourself on this scale?
Flexibility: 1-10
Rigidity: 1-10
(1 being low, 10 being high)
If you're not sure what I mean, consider:
Your enrollment.
Do you only work with people in the set packages and fee structures you currently have? Or is it your regular practice to adjust your packages and fees for the person in front of you?
Your invitations to conversations.
Do you follow a five-step formula for writing each message—sometimes to the point that they're almost template-like? Or do you write fresh for every person you reach out to?
Your creativity.
Do you stick with an offering that feels confident and comfortable—almost a guaranteed success? Or do you consistently create something new?
There's no right or wrong in any of these. I understand they're highly situational. But what's your best guess? Do you lean more rigid or more flexible?
If you've been in this community for a while, it won't surprise you to know that I have historically been on the high rigid side. Where my rule followers and control freaks at?
For a long time, my unconscious coping strategy was based on doing things the "right" way. If I learned a five-step formula, I followed it to a T.
My system didn't feel safe with flexibility. Coloring outside the lines felt scary because I unknowingly believed that predictability was my solid ground. So I was highly disciplined (aka controlling), detail-oriented, and held a death grip on the plan.
You may see yourself in the above. Or you may be the complete opposite—where rigidity and following the rules feels unsafe to your system.
This is all beautiful and part of how our innate health takes care of us. These coping strategies formed for a reason, so we aren't looking to blow them out of the water. Our job is to notice, to be curious when we can, and then receive the information and follow the breadcrumbs.
Over the last few years, my system has come into greater balance—quite naturally. I'm happy to say I'm enjoying the play that comes with flexibility. And I'm still human. I still have moments where the rigidity blind spot shows up.
Just recently I was in an enrollment conversation where the person was clear they wanted to work with me, and me with them. I shared my regular package structure, but given some circumstances in their life, that format didn't align.
My very first internal response was: I'm sad to see them go. I really liked them.
That's right. Rigidity showed up first with: It's this package or nothing.
Can you see where that type of thinking could be limiting?
Thankfully, I was invited to see this blind spot by my coach, and I returned to the conversation looking for the sweet spot of "yes." Where did our yeses align? And what could I create that would serve us both inside of this unique situation?
Instead of my standard two-month package with a four-day private intensive, we created a four-month package without the intensive. Given the travel already on their calendar and their specific coaching focus, it was the perfect fit.
We found that spot with ease and have been working well together since.
I've loved the simplicity of looking for the sweet spot of "yes"—to the point where I've shared it with two clients who also found value in it. Which is why I'm sharing it with you.
Now, if your tendency is high flexibility and you aren't yet making the income you'd like, it may be important for you to invite in a little more rigidity. Building the muscle and familiarity of holding your fee will serve you.
See, you want to have a level of comfort with both—holding your fee and being flexible with it. This is what will allow you to better attune to what would be of highest service in the moment.
If you aren't comfortable adjusting your fees, you'll end up leaving money on the table.
If you aren't comfortable honoring your fees, you'll end up leaving money on the table too.
The sweet spot of "yes" isn't about always bending or always holding firm. It's about being present enough to hear what's trying to emerge in the space between you and the person in front of you. It's about trusting yourself to know the difference.
So I'm curious: Where do you fall on this scale? And what do you notice about your tendencies?
Email me at hello@amberkrzys.com and let me know—I'd love to hear what you're discovering about your own sweet spot of "yes."
With loving,
Amber
