Dealing with rejection
I got rejected.It's true. I totally got rejected by a guy.A friend of mine offered to set me up, and in the spirit of being open and adventurous, I said yes. So, 'guy' and I went on a hike. One of my very favorite past times. We got along. Conversation was easy. Not sure there were too many sparks - but that's not always easy to tell on a hike.Anyway, a few days later I got an email from 'guy' thanking me for a wonderful time and also communicating that he didn't feel a romantic connection. (Props to him for sending that. I like when people are clear and willing to express their truth.)Now here's where the fun part begins.In the past, I would've gone back through our entire time together and wondered what I did 'wrong'.
Should I have said that?
Should I have told him about that?
Should I have worn make-up or a cuter outfit?
You know those questions. The army of thought invaders sent by the Ego designed to do one thing and one thing only: make you feel bad about yourself.Well, this time those thoughts didn't creep in. Instead, I was really proud of myself for showing up as ME! I showed up as I normally would for a hike—no make-up, hat, sunglasses and grungy outfit. That's me. I like to get dirty.I was fully myself. I wasn't trying to be someone 'guy' wanted me to be. I was just me. So how can there be anything wrong with that?I was so clear that this exchange had nothing to do with me. There was nothing 'wrong' with it. There was nothing wrong with 'guy' and there was nothing wrong with 'me'. It just wasn't a fit.Great. Onto the next.Now, why am I sharing this? Because we ALL experience rejection in our lives. Rejection from a significant other, job opportunity, friend, university, etc. This is a part of our human experience.But, we don't have to take it personally and let that experience define us. We have a choice.As I shared above, I could've just as easily gone into the story of, 'There's something wrong with me. I'll be lonely forever. No man will ever like me.' And, honestly, this is a story that would've taken over my life for weeks or even months in the past.But, today, I went instead, with the truth that, 'There is NOTHING wrong with either of us.' And, voila, the presence of growth.For me, I look at this as proof of the clarity of my intention. I'm very clear about the relationship I want to be in and obviously, this wasn't it. So, it's really a beautiful gift allowing me to stay open for what I really do want.Ultimately, the best thing you can do for yourself is to like who you are—no, LOVE who you are! Get to know yourself and love yourself fully. When you do, there is no room to take rejection so personally. You won't want to beat yourself up because you'll know you are awesome.Which, by the way, you ARE!In the comments below share onI got rejected.
It’s true. I totally got rejected by a guy.
A friend of mine offered to set me up, and in the spirit of being open and adventurous, I said yes. So, ‘guy’ and I went on a hike. One of my very favorite past times. We got along. Conversation was easy. Not sure there were too many sparks – but that’s not always easy to tell on a hike.
Anyway, a few days later I got an email from ‘guy’ thanking me for a wonderful time and also communicating that he didn’t feel a romantic connection. (Props to him for sending that. I like when people are clear and willing to express their truth.)
Now here’s where the fun part begins.
In the past, I would’ve gone back through our entire time together and wondered what I did ‘wrong’.
Should I have said that?
Should I have told him about that?
Should I have worn make-up or a cuter outfit?
You know those questions. The army of thought invaders sent by the Ego designed to do one thing and one thing only: make you feel bad about yourself.
Well, this time those thoughts didn’t creep in. Instead, I was really proud of myself for showing up as ME! I showed up as I normally would for a hike—no make-up, hat, sunglasses and grungy outfit. That’s me. I like to get dirty.
I was fully myself. I wasn’t trying to be someone ‘guy’ wanted me to be. I was just me. So how can there be anything wrong with that?
I was so clear that this exchange had nothing to do with me. There was nothing ‘wrong’ with it. There was nothing wrong with ‘guy’ and there was nothing wrong with ‘me’. It just wasn’t a fit.
Great. Onto the next.
Now, why am I sharing this? Because we ALL experience rejection in our lives. Rejection from a significant other, job opportunity, friend, university, etc. This is a part of our human experience.
But, we don’t have to take it personally and let that experience define us. We have a choice.
As I shared above, I could’ve just as easily gone into the story of, ‘There’s something wrong with me. I’ll be lonely forever. No man will ever like me.’ And, honestly, this is a story that would’ve taken over my life for weeks or even months in the past.
But, today, I went instead, with the truth that, ‘There is NOTHING wrong with either of us.’ And, voila, the presence of growth.
For me, I look at this as proof of the clarity of my intention. I’m very clear about the relationship I want to be in and obviously, this wasn’t it. So, it’s really a beautiful gift allowing me to stay open for what I really do want.
Ultimately, the best thing you can do for yourself is to like who you are—no, LOVE who you are! Get to know yourself and love yourself fully. When you do, there is no room to take rejection so personally. You won’t want to beat yourself up because you’ll know you are awesome.
Which, by the way, you ARE!
In the comments below share one way you’ve grown or how you’ve taken rejection—good or bad.
Thank you for being in this community. I’m truly glad you are here.
Love,
Ambere way you've grown or how you've taken rejection—good or bad.Thank you for being in this community. I'm truly glad you are here.Love,Amber